Also known as: No Fear (working title)
Release Date: April 12th, 1996
Directed by: James Foley
Written by: Christopher Crowe
Music by: Carter Burwell
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Reese Witherspoon, William Petersen, Alyssa Milano, Amy Brenneman
Imagine Entertainment, Universal Pictures, 96 Minutes
Review:
“I want you to understand somethin’, pal. If you don’t disappear from my family’s life, I’m gonna rip your balls off and shove ’em so far up your ass they’ll come out your fuckin’ mouth! You got that, my friend?” – Steve Walker
I saw this in the theater in 1996. I was on a date. She picked the movie. We never went out again.
There are probably other movies that are a better examples of terrible ’90s cliches mixed into a blender and then splashed across the screen but Fear is a walking, talking tapestry of bad ’90s cliches with a Boston accent and a third nipple.
With around 1000 film reviews that I’ve written for Cinespiria, I’m surprised to find that this is the first thing I’ve reviewed with Mark Wahlberg in it. Okay, full disclosure: I don’t like Wahlberg. I never have. I think he’s the same f’n guy in everything and he brings down other actors that work opposite of him. This is very apparent in this film, as the talented Reese Witherspoon is sucked down into the Wahlberg muck and gave a pretty terrible performance, which is most notable in the scenes they share together.
The gist of this movie deals with a teenage girl’s older, psycho boyfriend. Wahlberg was born to play this role, I guess. He sheds his Marky Mark hip-hop gear but still looks for every excuse to have his shirt off, exposing that third nipple of his. I think it’s that third nipple that gives him power over girls who love chunky “bad boys” that talk like male detectives on Rizzoli & Isles.
Anyway, Marky Mark is a psycho, who wins over the girl, her family but not the dad. The dad knows that this 23 year-old statutory rapist is bad news. Things escalate, the father doesn’t take any shit from this smug douchepimple and the big finale is a raid on the family home by the King of Boston Accents and his shitbird gang of generic ’90s grunge rock thugs.
There isn’t a single likable character in this entire film. Well, except for maybe the little brother who actually goes gangster, sneaks outside, fires up his dad’s truck and runs over some thug. Kudos to that kid.
Weirdly, as bad as this is, I don’t hate it. It was actually kind of enjoyable because of how bad it was and because it was a giant ’90s cliche of so many shit things from that decade.
On a side note, I don’t mind Marky Mark in comedies.
Rating: 4.5/10
Pairs well with: Meh. I don’t really think this pairs well with much of anything. It’s a terrible Wahlberg film. But I guess if you are a Reese Witherspoon fan, check this out with 1994’s S.F.W.
Talking Pulp 