TV Review: Stargirl (2020- )

Original Run: May 18th, 2020 – current
Created by: Geoff Johns
Directed by: various
Written by: various
Based on: Courtney Whitmore by Geoff Johns, Lee Moder
Music by: Pinar Toprak
Cast: Brec Bassinger, Yvette Monreal, Anjelika Washington, Cameron Gellman, Trae Romano, Jake Austin Walker, Meg DeLacy, Neil Jackson, Christopher James Baker, Amy Smart, Luke Wilson, Hunter Sansone, Nick Tarabay

Berlanti Productions, Mad Ghost Productions, DC Entertainment, Warner Bros. Television Studios, DC Universe, The CW, 26 Episodes (so far), 42-53 Minutes (per episode)

Review:

So this show starts off fantastically! The opening sequence is pretty damn incredible and really fucking cool! Branching off of that, this has some cool villains it throws at you from the get go and you’re immediately invested in the story.

Beyond that, the show is a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows, not really sure what it even is and not really able to find its footing before the end of the thirteen episode first season.

For the positives, I really like Luke Wilson in this and Amy Smart is pretty good too but she also doesn’t get to do much in the first season, which I hope changes somewhat going into seasons two and three. And while season two has already aired, it’s not on HBO Max yet, so I haven’t seen it.

The other adult actors are all pretty good in this too, even if they have to often times embrace the cheese in the way these Greg Berlanti DC Comics shows embrace the cheese.

I thought some of the villains were actually exceptional and legitimately awesome. I especially loved Dragon King, who looked like Cobra Commander if he were leading Hydra instead of Cobra. His costume was outstanding and he was intimidating, specifically in the scene where he has to knock his asshole daughter back down to Earth.

I also love the S.T.R.I.P.E. suit, which is basically a badass mecha that Luke Wilson pilots in battle. It resembles a patriotic Iron Giant.

Beyond all that comes the problems with the show.

The teen characters are all pretty annoying at times and Stargirl comes across as a reckless idiot until she learns some hard lessons. They all just seem one-dimensional and basic and that’s not necessarily a problem with the actors, as much as it’s a problem with the writing, directing and overall production.

Each teen is simply a trope or caricature. Now I hope that they get to build off of these basic templates but none of them get the time they need to really develop, except for Stargirl and to a certain extent, the villain teen Shiv.

The girl who plays Doctor Mid-Nite II is there to be the obvious “heart and soul” of the team, as she lacks powers and is just kind of stuck in the middle of all this. The problem is that she never really connects with the audience and she’s written to be annoying as hell, which wasn’t what they intended. I don’t blame the actress, I blame the lame material. In fact, she is somewhat charismatic and you kind of want her to develop into something but every time you start to dig her, she does something irritating.

The boy who plays Hourman II is also someone you kind of want to cheer for but then he acts like a total ass at the wrong moments.

Now maybe this is the writers trying to express these newfound heroes lack of experience in life and crimefighting but it’s just bad and there is a lot of awkwardness that doesn’t jive right.

Also, this takes place in Nebraska. The high school of this small town is incredibly diverse for a state that has 87 percent white people. Granted, I don’t care that much, as this is the norm in entertainment, but it’s just blatantly obvious Hollywood bullshit.

Additionally, Stargirl has never been a fighter but by the end of just thirteen episodes, she’s kicking the shit out of ninjas that have probably trained their whole lives. Also, Wildcat is basically a ninja but all she does is get angry and hit a punching bag. You never see her actually spar with opponents or have Catwoman-like reflexes and agility. It’s this type of shit that really turns me off about modern “nerd” entertainment. Where’s the struggle? The hero’s real journey?

At least this show allows its female hero to fail, pick herself up and learn from those mistakes, though. So that’s at least a step forward when compared to the brainless storytelling of modern Hollywood.

In the end, I mostly liked this. I want the show to be good. I feel like it’ll probably lean to much into its negatives, though, as just about everything else does these days.

If my opinion drastically changes one way or another after seeing season two, I’ll update this review and the score.

Rating: 6.25/10

TV Review: The Ripper (2020)

Original Run: December 16th, 2020
Created by: Netflix
Directed by: Jesse Vile, Ellena Wood
Cast: various

Netflix, 4 Episodes, 60 Minutes (per episode)

Review:

I’ve been going through a weird phase lately where I’ve been binge watching Netflix crime docu-series. This generally isn’t my genre but I like the way that Netflix tells these stories. They’ve developed their own style and it’s both effective and done in a way that keeps you glued to the screen.

This one is about a serial killer that dopey, idiot detectives just assumed was a Jack The Ripper copycat and thus, named him The Ripper. However, many of the victims were later discovered to not be prostitutes and the theories the authorities had were thrown out the window, once it was clear that they were dead wrong and had also been jumping to conclusions based off of their own biases.

Beyond that, this also covers the gender-focused fascism that this part of the UK employed to keep women “safe” based off of completely false assumptions.

There were a lot of interesting layers to this whole story and I thought that the sections of this documentary were well organized and generally well presented. I was also surprised that they covered this pretty thoroughly in just four episodes.

While this isn’t my favorite of these type of Netflix shows, it’s still damn engaging and was a good way to spend four hours in an afternoon sick in bed.

Rating: 7/10

Documentary Review: Closed for Storm (2020)

Also known as: Closed for Storm – The Story of Six Flags New Orleans (complete title)
Release Date: November 7th, 2020 (New Orleans Film Festival)
Directed by: Jake Williams
Written by: Jake Williams
Music by: Matthew Jordan Leeds
Cast: Jake Williams (narrator), various

Bright Sun Films, 78 Minutes, 57 Minutes (festival cut)

Review:

Closed for Storm tells the story of a once great theme park on the edge of New Orleans. It was unfortunately wrecked hard by Hurricane Katrina in 2005. While it started out as Jazzland in 2000, it was bought by Six Flags and renamed Six Flags New Orleans in 2003.

Six Flags had big plans for the park but once Hurricane Katrina hit the area, priorities in New Orleans, in general, changed.

Additionally, the park was flooded and had incredible damage. Over time, it was looted and vandalized and Six Flags decided to cut their losses. Today, it just sits there, vacant.

This documentary interviews people that were involved with the theme park, those who were regular visitors and those who live in the surrounding community, who were promised a lot from the development of the park but now have an eyesore in their backyards that has had the opposite effect of what was promised to them.

This is also a sad story about the death of a piece of Americana. It reminded me a lot of the recent documentary I watched called Jasper Mall, which told the story of a once busy and successful shopping mall that has, in recent years, just barely been able to stay afloat.

Also, growing up in South Florida, I lived through a similar situation when Hurricane Andrew put the nail in the coffin for Six Flags Atlantis, just north of Miami. It was a place I loved to go to and tried to coerce my dad into taking me a few times per year.

I enjoyed this documentary quite a bit and it does leave you with some hope regarding the defunct park. People keep coming up with plans for the site and it’s probably only a matter of time before a trigger is pulled. Although, it probably won’t become another theme park. Just like Six Flags Atlantis was steamrolled and turned into a shopping center.

Rating: 7/10

Documentary Review: Jasper Mall (2020)

Release Date: January 24th, 2020 (Slamdance Film Festival)
Directed by: Bradford Thomason, Brett Whitcomb

Window Pictures, 85 Minutes

Review:

“If Belk goes, we are in deep woo-woo.” – customer

I didn’t go into this film expecting it to hit me in the feels but man, it really did. I think that has to do with the fact that I spent a lot of time in my youth going to malls, hanging out in malls and eventually working in one doing a bunch of different jobs from stock boy, sales, store management and eventually a third-shift security supervisor.

With that, I probably have a different level of nostalgia for indoor malls, as well as a deeper understanding of what they were and how they’ve declined in recent years.

This documentary captures a year in the life of the Jasper Mall in Jasper, Alabama, which isn’t too far from Birmingham. It focuses on multiple people but the main person is a former zoo owner who now works for the mall in a variety of roles from trying to lease space, being the head of security, maintenance and janitorial work. He’s sort of the “Jack of all trades” in the mall and it’s almost like he lives there.

His love and dedication to his job, the mall itself and the community around the mall is pretty damn inspiring but it’s also really sad, considering that the mall is having a really hard time keeping tenants and attracting patrons in a world with online shopping and other new options that have popped up in recent years.

We also get to spend time with a shop owner, who is retiring but has been a mainstay in the mall for a couple decades.

Beyond that, we get to meet a job applicant, a few other workers and shop owners, as well as some of the regular patrons, who don’t want to see their once prosperous community center die.

This isn’t just about Jasper Mall, though, it’s about small town America and the decline of malls in general. This one just feels like the perfect subject to convey this story and to bring light to what has happened to shopping malls across the country.

Jasper Mall is incredibly genuine and real. It makes you yearn for simpler times when everyone loved going to the mall on the weekends not just to shop but to interact with others in the community. They used to be places where things happened and in most cases now, they’ve become ghost towns and mausoleums to our cultural history.

Rating: 8/10

Film Review: Freaky (2020)

Also known as: Freaky Friday the 13th (working title)
Release Date: October 8th, 2020 (Beyond Fest)
Directed by: Christopher Landon
Written by: Michael Kennedy, Christopher Landon
Music by: Bear McCreary
Cast: Vince Vaughn, Kathryn Newton, Katie Finneran, Celeste O’Connor, Alan Ruck

Divide/Conquer, Blumhouse Productions, 102 Minutes

Review:

“[whispering in the ear of the jock who grabbed her/his ass] Your touch makes my pussy as dry as sandpaper, you fucking monkey. I can’t wait to kill you.” – Blissfield Butcher as Millie

Generally speaking, modern horror sucks. However, sometimes a modern horror film has something that makes it stand out from the pack. This usually happens for me every two-to-three years.

I can’t say that this is great but it takes the standard slasher formula and adds a little Freaky Friday-body swap plot with some comedy and the comedic talents of Vince Vaughn, which makes this pretty fucking amusing and worth watching for a laugh and because, well, there just isn’t much horror worth giving your time to, these days.

Apart from Vaughn, I thought that Kathryn Newton was really good in this too and she’s someone who first came on my radar in the grossly underappreciated television show Halt and Catch Fire. I have since seen her play small parts in Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri and Lady Bird, where I thought she showed promise. This is the first thing I’ve seen that she stars in, however. That being said, she’s damn solid and I like her a lot. She can handle drama and ham it up greatly in roles like this.

The plot sees a timid but attractive teen girl nearly get murdered by the town serial killer. However, he has some mystical dagger that he stole from the house of his previous victim. This dagger causes the killer and the would-be victim to wake up the next morning in the other person’s body. With that, the teen girl, looking like Vince Vaughn, has to convince her friends that she’s not the wanted serial killer, while the killer in the teen girl’s body, sexes it up to attract teen boys to murder.

I don’t want to ruin the movie, so I won’t talk about the plot beyond the initial setup but everything plays out really well and this is an entertaining and legitimately funny movie in an era where almost anything a normal person finds funny is considered offensive by the social media snowflakes that cry about capitalism through their iPhones, standing in line at Starbucks.

All the characters in this are good, from her friends, her family and the asshole teacher that acts like a complete dick to her. Also, he’s played by Alan Ruck and I kind of loved seeing him play this sort of character when he’ll always be Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off to me. Sorry, Ruck, but through that role, you made a tremendous impact on me in my most impressionable years.

I can’t say that this was great but it is better than what the horror genre has typically spit our since the mid-’00s. I like the cast, I laughed a good bit and it’s something I’d watch again.

Rating: 6.5/10

Documentary Review: Console Wars (2020)

Release Date: September 23rd, 2020
Directed by: Jonah Tulis, Blake J. Harris
Based on: Console Wars: Sega, Nintendo, and the Battle That Defined a Generation by Blake J. Harris
Music by: Jeff Beal
Cast: various

Circle of Confusion, CBS Television Studios, Legendary Television, Paramount+, 92 Minutes

Review:

“Whenever you’re at war, you always hit the guy in the mouth as hard as you can. If you can’t hit him hard, you might as well not even fight. That’s the attitude in real war and it’s the attitude in business. You’ve gotta be prepared to take on the competition and win.” – Paul Rioux

When I was a kid in the early ’90s, I was all about Sega Genesis. Sure, I liked some of the games on Super Nintendo when it came out but Genesis was just my cup of tea from the speed, the graphics, the sound and the game selection.

However, I was also growing up and by middle school age, I wasn’t into the kiddie games.

This documentary tells the story of how Sega emerged as a video game powerhouse in the United States in a time when Nintendo owned the vast majority of the market share. Sega didn’t care, though, and they went all in, creating a system that was much more impressive than the 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment System and honestly, better than Nintendo’s rebuttal, which was the Super Nintendo.

There’s no hate here, though. I truly loved both systems but Genesis had the edge for me.

Anyway, this was well put together, well researched and it features interviews with the majority of the key players in this story.

Rivalries in business are great and for preteen me, this was the greatest business rivalry I could ever care about. Video games were a huge part of my life.

So seeing all these key people talk about this rivalry now is pretty f’n cool. There’s so much I didn’t know about the behind the scenes stuff because I was a kid and all I cared about was being entertained by the games I loved.

Well, I was also pretty thoroughly entertained by this documentary.

Rating: 7/10

Film Review: The Very Excellent Mr. Dundee (2020)

Also known as: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished (working title), The Very Excellent Mr. Crocodile Dundee, Mr. Dundee (alternative titles)
Release Date: July 17th, 2020 (Australia, New Zealand – Internet)
Directed by: Dean Murphy
Written by: Robert Mond, Dean Murphy
Music by: John Foreman
Cast: Paul Hogan, Rachael Carpani, Jacob Elordi, Chevy Chase, John Cleese, Olivia Newton-John, Reginald VelJohnson, Wayne Knight, Paul Fenech, Shane Jacobson, Kerry Armstrong, Charlotte Stent, Luke Hemsworth, Jim Jefferies, Costas Mandylor, Nancy O’Dell

Clock Sounds Productions Pty, Kathy Morgan International, Piccadilly Pictures, 88 Minutes

Review:

“He’s back, whether he likes it or not.” – tagline

I grew up loving Paul Hogan, which is honestly why I even watched this in the first place. I certainly wasn’t lured in by the trailer or the 4.9 out of 10 on IMDb. But Hogan is a hell of a cool guy and I wanted to give this a shot because I immensely enjoy Crocodile Dundee I and II.

Needless to say, I thought that this was better than a 4.9 but not by a large margin. I enjoyed it, mostly, but it isn’t something that I’ll probably ever watch again. It was certainly better than the mostly terrible Crocodile Dundee III but a hair beneath Hogan’s Almost An Angel.

That being said, it’s nice spending time with Hogan again, as well as some of the other people he brought into this movie like Reginald VelJohnson, John Cleese, Wayne Knight, Chevy Chase and Olivia Newton-John. It’s also chock full of cameos from a lot of Australian celebrities and other friends of Hogan’s.

The plot sees Hogan playing himself and I guess it’s a lot like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where the actor playing himself constantly screws up in every situation. For the most part, though, Hogan means well and not to offend but he either doesn’t fully understand the situation he’s in or someone else is a complete asshole but Hogan is blamed for it – like when the nun gets knocked out, which was due to Hogan protecting himself from an object thrown by a raging imbecile.

Most of the gags are still amusing, even if you see them coming from a mile away.

I thought that was is just a charming and lighthearted picture because of Paul Hogan. But honestly, there’s not much reason to watch it more than once and you should already have a love for its star.

Rating: 5.5/10

Documentary Review: Stripped: Los Angeles (2020)

Release Date: September 1st, 2020 (online premiere)
Directed by: Marc Ostrick
Written by: Marc Ostrick
Music by: Danny Mordujovich
Cast: Bama Babii, Erica Solitaire Chappell, Della Dane, Nikki Knightly, Sizi Sev

Ostrick Productions, 80 Minutes

Review:

Man, this was excruciating to watch. Not because of the subject matter, by any means, but because the production was amateurish as hell and I kind of found it shocking that Starz would even distribute this. Then again, Starz’s self-produced documentaries have rarely, if ever, been all that good.

I actually wanted a peek into the lives of the girls, here. I worked as a bodyguard and as security in the adult industry in my early twenties. I met a lot of cool and interesting people back then and with that, was expecting some pretty solid personal stories in this.

The problem wasn’t really the girls featured, as much as it was the presentation itself.

This is sloppily edited and most of it was shot like they were making videos for TikTok. Half of the movie is just strippers smoking weed talking about their pets and pointless, boring shit. Do strippers and adult entertainers not really party or have a good time, anymore? I mean, I know that they do but the director seemed to pick the worst days to capture these girls lives.

I know that this was made in an effort to show the real personas of these women but it failed to captivate or even hold my attention.

Honestly, as someone who worked in that industry, I’ve got to wonder if the director was just like all those random dudes that would come into the strip clubs and porn events I worked at, trying to butter up the girls, convincing them they were legit photographers and producers that wanted to use them for a big project. These dudes were a dime a dozen and while most adult entertainers have heard this shit a zillion times, some still gave out their phone numbers. 

Rating: 3.5/10

Film Review: Deathstroke: Knights & Dragons – The Movie (2020)

Release Date: August 4th, 2020
Directed by: Sung Jin Ahn
Written by: J.M. DeMatteis
Based on: Deathstroke by Marv Wolfman, George Perez
Music by: Kevin Riepl
Cast: Michael Chiklis, Chris Jai Alex, Sasha Alexander

Berlanti Productions, Blue Ribbon Content, DC Entertainment, 87 Minutes

Review:

I was a bit stoked when I saw that there was an animated Deathstroke film on HBO Max. It came out a year ago and I’m assuming it was initially on DC Universe before that got swallowed up and absorbed by the newly launched HBO Max, which is sort of a central hub of all the content Warner Bros. associated streaming services hosted before converging into one thing.

Anyway, I was pretty underwhelmed by this. That’s not surprising, as DC animated features are a mixed bag. Some are really meh but some are very, very good. Most of them meet somewhere in the middle but this one does fall closer to the meh side of that pendulum.

While I liked that Michael Chiklis voiced Slade Wilson a.k.a. Deathstroke, the film was kind of a bore. It featured a couple C-list villains for Deathstroke to tie-up with but it also leaned into his personal life and his family, which I feel like has been explored to death in comics and other mediums already.

Frankly, I just kind of wanted Deathstroke in his anti-hero role, going up against impossible odds to take down a serious baddie. I wanted some dark, black-ops shit. While I guess this does send him on shadow missions of some degree, it just never really grabbed me.

There’s a television series of Deathstroke: Knights & Dragons, so I’m not sure if this is a sequel to it or a prequel. Maybe this is just a condensed version of a larger story. Either way, it’s kind of sloppy and boring. 

Rating: 5.25/10

Documentary Review: Life After the Navigator (2020)

Release Date: November 9th, 2020 (UK)
Directed by: Lisa Downs
Written by: Lisa Downs
Music by: Toby Dunham
Cast: Joey Cramer, Veronica Cartwright, Cliff DeYoung, Howard Hesseman, Randal Kleiser, Matt Adler, Raymond Forchion, Albie Whitaker

Life After Movies, Spare Change Films, Strict Machine, 91 Minutes

Review:

A few years ago, I heard about what had happened with Joey Cramer, the former child actor that was a favorite of mine because of how good he was in The Flight of the Navigator and his few scenes in Runaway.

For those that don’t know, Cramer robbed a bank out of desperation due to his bad drug habit. Upon discovering this, I also learned about his history with prison and drugs and how his life had spiraled out of control in the years since he left acting behind.

Sadly, this isn’t a story that’s too uncommon with child actors who grow up, don’t get work and have to return to a normal life that’s never going to be truly normal due to the level of fame they once had.

I’m happy to say that Joey did turn his life around and this film chronicles that tough journey. You meet his family, friends and get to hear from those who starred alongside him in The Flight of the Navigator. 

This documentary is really two things merged into one. It’s primarily about Joey, his issues and his battle to get better. However, it’s also about the Navigator film and reflects on it, all these years later, as it has become an iconic film, beloved by more than just the Gen Xers that saw it in the theater back in 1986.

All in all, this was a sad but ultimately feel good story. It was cool seeing everyone support Joey and still share their love of the film, as well. I just hope that he can now stay on the right path and keep building towards a better life than the one he lived for the last few decades.

Rating: 8/10
Pairs well with: The Flight of the Navigator, as well as the documentary Life After Flash.