Film Review: What’s the Worst That Could Happen? (2001)

Release Date: June 1st, 2001
Directed by: Sam Weisman
Written by: Matthew Chapman
Based on: What’s the Worst That Could Happen? by Donald E. Westlake
Music by: Tyler Bates
Cast: Martin Lawrence, Danny DeVito, John Leguizamo, Glenne Headly, Carmen Ejogo, Bernie Mac, Larry Miller, Nora Dunn, Richard Schiff, William Fichtner, Ana Gasteyer, GQ

Turman/Morrissey Company, Hyde Park Entertainment, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, 94 Minutes

Review:

“I robbed a thief! How can you not see the humor in that?” – Max Fairbanks

Critics hated this film and very few people remember it. Those that do seem to remember it as being an unfunny dud. Well, I disagree, wholeheartedly.

Both Martin Lawrence and Danny DeVito are comedy legends at this point. Hell, they probably were in 2001. Seeing them come together is kind of cool even if critics thought that their styles didn’t mesh well.

Honestly, I think they meshed fine. Did they have great chemistry? No. But it still worked for what this was, which was mindless, funny escapism. Seeing it twenty years later, I think I enjoyed it more, as comedy is dead and I haven’t seen a new movie that’s made me laugh in a long time.

Lawrence and DeVito are also assisted in the comedy department by John Leguizamo, who I thought had really good chemistry with Lawrence. In fact, I kind of wish they worked together more.

The real standout character for me, though, was William Fichtner’s Detective Alex Tardio. My god, did Fichtner just put everything into the role and delivered some incredible, comedic scenes. He’s more known for his dramatic work but he kills it in this and steals every scene he’s in regardless of the fact that he’s sharing the screen with comedy icons.

I also like the premise of the film which sees a thief get his ring stolen by the rich asshole he’s robbing. So this is about getting the ring back, at first, but it escalates into a giant dick waving contest between two determined men trying to one-up each other for an hour and a half.

I can’t say that this film is a comedy classic by any stretch of the imagination but it is an enjoyable way to spend 94 minutes with three guys that always bring the laughs and a few others that step up to the plate to advance the runners around the bases.

Rating: 6.75/10
Pairs well with: other comedies with Martin Lawrence, Danny DeVito or John Leguizamo.

Film Review: The Purge: Anarchy (2014)

Also known as: The Purge 2
Release Date: July 17th, 2014 (Israel)
Directed by: James DeMonaco
Written by: James DeMonaco
Music by: Nathan Whitehead
Cast: Frank Grillo, Carmen Ejogo, Zach Gilford, Kiele Sanchez, Zoë Soul, Michael K. Williams

Platinum Dunes, Blumhouse Productions, Why Not Productions, Universal Pictures, 103 Minutes

Review:

“Get ready to bleed, rich bitches! This is our time now!” – Carmelo Johns

*written in 2014.

While I didn’t like the first movie overall, I did find this one to be better. The main reason for this is that we weren’t trapped in a house with an annoying family with bad guys outside, who didn’t get in to bring the ruckus until the last fifteen minutes of the movie. This film took us outside and into downtown Los Angeles during the annual “Purge” night. We also followed a character played by Frank Grillo, a guy I’ve always liked, who was almost a Punisher type of character. He had an armored muscle car and an awesome arsenal of big guns. He was also former military or a cop but I couldn’t tell which and it really doesn’t matter.

Grillo, as I’ll call him because I don’t remember his name in the film and I don’t care, comes across a few women in trouble during the Purge and takes it upon himself to rescue them. They end up with him throughout the film, as does this annoying married couple that no one who sees this film will care about. Grillo traverses through downtown L.A. while babysitting these people on a personal mission to find the drunk driver that killed his son.

The downside of this movie is that while there was more action than the first, it still felt like there wasn’t enough, as this movie existed in the outside world and not in a closed-in confined space. I expected a lot more balls to the wall chaos.

This film featured two sets of villains: the young punks on dirt bikes with painted faces, as well as multiple semi trucks full of armored troops and a commander with an insane machine gun. The group led by Grillo is trying to avoid both groups of villains and the true intentions of one of the villainous groups is a plot twist that falls flat and thus, reminded me of the uninspiring and lame plot twist in the previous Purge film.

This is a better film than the first one but it still isn’t a good film. It felt like less of a waste of time than the first but I walked away with pretty much no desire to ever experience this movie again. In fact, other than watching a future sequel for potential review purposes, I have no interest in this series.

To rehash what I stated in my review of the original film, the premise isn’t believable and it feels like a adolescent boy’s wet dream – stolen from the diary of a middle school kid. Hell, maybe Hollywood is paying kids to write their movies now because you can pay them in Blow Pops and nudie magazines.

Rating: 5/10
Pairs well with: Any Frank Grillo movie where he is a total badass. So any Frank Grillo movie, really.

Film Review: It Comes At Night (2017)

Release Date: April 29th, 2017 (Timberline Lodge premiere)
Directed by: Trey Edward Shults
Written by: Trey Edwards Shults
Music by: Brian McOmber
Cast: Joel Edgerton, Christopher Abbott, Carmen Ejogo, Kelvin Harrison Jr., Riley Keough

Animal Kingdom, A24, 91 Minutes

Review:

“You can’t trust anyone but family.” – Paul

I went into this movie really knowing nothing about it. I never saw a trailer for it and it came out and got lost in the shuffle of the summer blockbusters. However, I did notice its pretty high rating on Rotten Tomatoes and thought it was a horror film worth checking out.

While considered horror, it really isn’t. It is more of a dark thriller with some mystery. There aren’t really any monsters or creatures to worry about and the title and marketing of the film are pretty misleading, in my opinion. Yes, there is a lot of nighttime darkness in the film but there is no clear indication of what “It” is. And really, “It” doesn’t exist. The real threat is what happens when people with good intentions can’t trust one another and are overcome by paranoia. If that is the “It” from the title, it’s a massive disappointment.

The film, like its title, is full of red herrings. So many red herrings in fact that it becomes tedious keeping up with them and ultimately, none of them matter. The story opens up a lot of avenues and mysteries to explore but then never goes down those paths. While the film does a great job of reeling you in and building suspense for the first 90 percent, the last 10 percent is an anticlimactic clusterfuck that makes most of that previous 90 percent inconsequential and pointless.

The idea behind this film also isn’t anything new. These ideas and these aspects of human nature have been explored in just about every episode of The Walking Dead, and much more effectively. Hell, we’ve seen this story play out in countless zombies movies and really anything that is set in a post-apocalyptic world.

The positives of the film aren’t enough to save it.

The acting is pretty good but most of that is due to Joel Edgerton, who impresses me more and more with each picture, taking on the bulk of the acting duties. His son, played by Kelvin Harrison Jr., does a good job being the eyes and emotion of the audience but he doesn’t really get to evolve or explore his character other than emotionally reacting to his world and his loved ones crumbling around him.

The cinematography is also a strong positive. While it isn’t anything groundbreaking, the tone of the film is probably the most effective thing about it. The house is welcoming during the day but a dark and dreadful place at night. The long dark corridor to the back door is really a character all its own.

I can’t say that I was disappointed with the film, as I went into it blindly and without expectations. However, as it rolled on, my expectations rose only to have them slapped back down when the climax arrived.

Rating: 6/10

Film Review: Alien: Covenant (2017)

Release Date: May 4th, 2017 (Leicester Square premiere)
Directed by: Ridley Scott
Written by: John Logan, Dante Harper, Jack Paglen, Michael Green
Music by: Jed Kurzel
Cast: Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride, Carmen Ejogo, Demián Bichir, Guy Pearce, James Franco

Scott Free Productions, 20th Century Fox, 123 Minutes

Review:

“One wrong note eventually ruins the entire symphony.” – Walter

Well, Alien: Covenant finally came out. We’re eight Alien movies deep into the franchise now, if you count the two Alien v. Predator movies (which you actually shouldn’t). Also, this one is a direct sequel to Prometheus and part of the prequel series of films leading up to the original Alien. This is also the third of these films directed by the man behind the franchise, Ridley Scott.

I generally disliked the first prequel, Prometheus, as it made the whole Alien mythos more confusing. Well, Alien: Covenant does more of the same in an attempt to connect some of the unconnected dots after Prometheus shook the snow globe to hell.

The problem with Alien: Covenant is that it shakes the snow globe even more. I’ve really just gotten to the point where I’m kind of dismissing a lot of the plot details in an effort to not let these films take anything away from the near masterpiece of the original Alien.

One thing is clear though, despite Ridley Scott saying he had a big plan for how all of these films lead to Alien, the people behind these movies are just making stuff up on the fly. There doesn’t seem to be a real plan, it’s sort of like, “Well, we’ve done this, so now how do we get from here to there?” I guess we won’t know for sure until the next film comes out but I can’t see how this is all going to magically come together and make a lick of sense. While I’m not a fan of having to over explain a movie, these films have painted themselves into a corner now and it’s almost necessary to have to spell everything out. Keeping things sort of ambiguous with a few minor reveals, here and there, just makes these films annoying.

Now the acting is top notch and the cast was pretty impressive. I was especially impressed with how good Danny McBride was in a serious role. I hope this opens some more doors for him. I also liked seeing Demián Bichir, as he is starting to get a lot more work and always brings some gravitas and style to a film. Katherine Waterson was a sort of proto-Ripley the same way that Noomi Rapace was in Prometheus but she doesn’t bring it like Rapace did. She’s okay but she’s not the good character that Dr. Elizabeth Shaw was or the great, great one that Ellen Ripley was.

The effects were a mixed bag. Everything was solid until the final third of the film. The battle on the crane ship was kind of hokey and the CGI was clunky in parts. It was almost comically bad and really ruined the tone of the film. Also, McBride is the pilot. He has one job and he really sucked at it. But at least we got a real alien xenomorph in the sequence.

One scene that worked really well though, was when our marooned heroes had to battle the albino xenomorphs in the grass field. It reminded me of that awesome velociraptor grassland scene from The Lost World where you see people running and raptor tails perking up above the tall grass as they stealthily pick people off.

Also, the scene where the android David is face-to-face with the tall albino xenomorph was really cool until Billy Crudup screwed it up. I wanted to see David communicate with the creature and to see where that was going to go, as he sees these homicidal beasts as his children.

Ultimately, Alien: Covenant isn’t the worst of the three Alien films directed by Scott, that goes to Prometheus. This is not a bad film but it doesn’t really seem to have much of a purpose. It advances David’s story beyond Prometheus but nothing about his character or his motivations is surprising. The big twist involving him at the end is not shocking and it was actually anticipated.

Alien: Covenant is really a dud. I’d much rather see them make the Neill Blomkamp proposed Alien movie that features Ellen Ripley and Cpl. Hicks.

Rating: 5.25/10
Pairs well with: Prometheus