Film Review: Avengers: Endgame (2019)

Release Date: April 22nd, 2019 (Los Angeles premiere)
Directed by: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Written by: Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely
Based on: The Avengers by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby
Music by: Alan Silvestri
Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Pratt, Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Paul Rudd, Brie Larson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Renner, Chadwick Boseman, Elizabeth Olsen, Tom Holland, Benedict Cumberbatch, Danai Gurira, Letitia Wright, Dave Bautista, Zoe Saldana, Josh Brolin, Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Wong, Pom Klementieff, Karen Gillan, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Gwyneth Paltrow, William Hurt, Cobie Smulders, Samuel L. Jackson, Ross Marquand, Jon Favreau, Marisa Tomei, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Douglas, Michelle Pfeiffer, Linda Cardellini, Tessa Thompson, Rene Russo, John Slattery, Tilda Swinton, Hayley Atwell, Natalie Portman, Taika Waititi, Angela Bassett, Frank Grillo, Robert Redford, Ty Simpkins, James D’Arcy, Ken Jeong, Yvette Nichole Brown

Marvel Studios, Walt Disney Studios, 181 Minutes

Review:

“You could not live with your own failure, and where did that bring you? Back to me.” – Thanos

*There be spoilers here! But I kept it as minimal as possible.

Here we are… the end.

Well, it’s the end of an era but not the end of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Although, this may be the end for me, as there isn’t much else I’m looking forward to from the MCU after Endgame. Granted, there hasn’t been much news on what’s coming next, either.

But anyway, how was this film? The big, badass finale to a 22 movie franchise?

It was good but it wasn’t anything close to stellar.

My biggest issue with it was that it was a pretty big clusterfuck that had too many parts to try and balance. Where the previous film Infinity War did that just fine, Endgame had so many more extra layers thrown on top of it that it was overkill. I mean every single character that had any sort of significant impact on MCU storylines over 22 films ended up shoehorned into this thing. Even Natalie Portman, who wanted nothing to do with these movies after being in two of them and dialing in a mediocre performance both times.

Also, the time travel element to the story did a bunch of things that didn’t make sense and they also pissed on Back to the Future because it’s easier to shit on a classic (and its fictitious application of quantum physics) than to actually write a coherent time travel story of your own. Endgame opted to go the lazy Doctor Who “timey wimey” route than to concern itself with paradoxes and all that other catastrophic nonsense. They even kill a version of a character from the past and it in no way effects the present version of that same character.

The big battle at the end was the most epic thing that the Marvel Cinematic Universe has done but what should have felt like Marvel’s version of The Return of the King felt more like Ready Player Two. It was a CGI shitfest and I’m not even sure how Spider-Man was web-swinging on a large, open battlefield where the only objects above him were fast moving spaceships going in the opposite of the direction he was swinging in. But whatever, physics is hard, brah.

I liked that this film gave us some closure for some major characters. Granted, I’m not all that happy with what that closure was but like Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr., I’m also very, very tired of this franchise. I feel like Endgame really is a jumping off point for fans that have rode this train for 11 years that feel like they need a break. I feel like I need a break and even if my mind was made up before this film, Endgame really solidified it.

Although, I am a bit excited for whatever happens with the Guardians of the Galaxy and Thor. As for the rest of the characters and their films, I don’t really care. I think I’m only really enthused about cosmic Marvel and not Earth Marvel, at this point.

Almost all of the acting was damn good, especially in regards to Robert Downey Jr., Karen Gillan, Jeremy Renner and Scarlett Johansson.

Brie Larson on the other hand is a fucking charisma vacuum and every time she was on screen, I felt like I was looking at a first time community theater actress trying to play Nurse Ratched. And the Justin Bieber makeover was terrible. That scene where she blew up the ship and floated there, victoriously, just made me yearn for someone, anyone else to be in that role. My brain immediately thought, “Man, imagine if that was Charlize Theron, the theater would’ve just erupted instead of everyone just sitting here sucking loudly on empty soda cups.” I’m not wrong, I rarely ever am.

Anyway, the movie was messy but it had some really good moments. But this isn’t a movie that can stand on its own. You need the previous 21 films for context or all of this would be lost on you. Sure, it’s emotional and some bits are powerful but without 11 years of context, the weight isn’t there. And I prefer to judge films on their own merits as a sole body of work and not as an episode of a TV show or a chapter in a book. But at the same time, there is no way you can recap everything before this, as this film series is now too damn big.

Well, it’s over I guess. In 2008, it was hard imagining this day. But here it is. And I’m tired.

Rating: 7.75/10
Pairs well with: Everything in the MCU before this film, as it all leads up to this one.

Film Review: The Purge: Anarchy (2014)

Also known as: The Purge 2
Release Date: July 17th, 2014 (Israel)
Directed by: James DeMonaco
Written by: James DeMonaco
Music by: Nathan Whitehead
Cast: Frank Grillo, Carmen Ejogo, Zach Gilford, Kiele Sanchez, Zoë Soul, Michael K. Williams

Platinum Dunes, Blumhouse Productions, Why Not Productions, Universal Pictures, 103 Minutes

Review:

“Get ready to bleed, rich bitches! This is our time now!” – Carmelo Johns

*written in 2014.

While I didn’t like the first movie overall, I did find this one to be better. The main reason for this is that we weren’t trapped in a house with an annoying family with bad guys outside, who didn’t get in to bring the ruckus until the last fifteen minutes of the movie. This film took us outside and into downtown Los Angeles during the annual “Purge” night. We also followed a character played by Frank Grillo, a guy I’ve always liked, who was almost a Punisher type of character. He had an armored muscle car and an awesome arsenal of big guns. He was also former military or a cop but I couldn’t tell which and it really doesn’t matter.

Grillo, as I’ll call him because I don’t remember his name in the film and I don’t care, comes across a few women in trouble during the Purge and takes it upon himself to rescue them. They end up with him throughout the film, as does this annoying married couple that no one who sees this film will care about. Grillo traverses through downtown L.A. while babysitting these people on a personal mission to find the drunk driver that killed his son.

The downside of this movie is that while there was more action than the first, it still felt like there wasn’t enough, as this movie existed in the outside world and not in a closed-in confined space. I expected a lot more balls to the wall chaos.

This film featured two sets of villains: the young punks on dirt bikes with painted faces, as well as multiple semi trucks full of armored troops and a commander with an insane machine gun. The group led by Grillo is trying to avoid both groups of villains and the true intentions of one of the villainous groups is a plot twist that falls flat and thus, reminded me of the uninspiring and lame plot twist in the previous Purge film.

This is a better film than the first one but it still isn’t a good film. It felt like less of a waste of time than the first but I walked away with pretty much no desire to ever experience this movie again. In fact, other than watching a future sequel for potential review purposes, I have no interest in this series.

To rehash what I stated in my review of the original film, the premise isn’t believable and it feels like a adolescent boy’s wet dream – stolen from the diary of a middle school kid. Hell, maybe Hollywood is paying kids to write their movies now because you can pay them in Blow Pops and nudie magazines.

Rating: 5/10
Pairs well with: Any Frank Grillo movie where he is a total badass. So any Frank Grillo movie, really.

Film Review: Homefront (2013)

Release Date: November 27th, 2013
Directed by: Gary Fleder
Written by: Sylvester Stallone
Based on: Homefront by Chuck Logan
Music by: Mark Isham
Cast: Jason Statham, James Franco, Winona Ryder, Kate Bosworth, Rachelle Lefevre, Frank Grillo, Clancy Brown, Izabela Vidovic, Pruitt Taylor Vince

Millennium Films, Nu Image, Endgame Releasing, Open Road Films, 100 Minutes

Review:

*written in 2013.

“Whatever you’re thinking, rethink it.” – Phil Broker

Jason Statham. James Franco.

Both men locked in eternal combat for bayou supremacy.

Well, not really. But what we do have here is two awesome badasses going head-to-head in a story of redneck revenge and bayou justice.

The down side for me was that there really wasn’t enough Statham versus Franco action. The trailer for this film had me thinking that Franco was some sick meth-cooking redneck and that Statham was the dude who had to put him down. In the end, it sort of happened that way but the plot leading up to that point was very layered and there was a lot going on that made the film not as black and white as I had anticipated it being. Of course, this was somewhat of a delight.

Frank Grillo shows up and plays a badass shitbag, which is something he has mastered between this and Captain America: The Winter Soldier. There were also appearances by Winona Ryder, Kate Bosworth, The Kurgan himself Clancy Brown and a few other noteworthy actors.

The film was written by Sylvester Stallone, which I didn’t know until I saw it. The script felt like it was written by Stallone as it had that one-dimensional tough dude dialogue that is 50 percent awesome and 50 percent cheesy. For instance, when one baddie steps up to Statham, our hero utters, “Whatever you’re thinking, rethink it.” Man, I can almost hear John Rambo saying that to a cop about to give him a DUI.

Also, what’s up with Statham. I like the guy but even when he plays an American, he still talks like British ass Jason Statham. Dude doesn’t even try to do an American accent. Then again, it is Jason fucking Statham. I like to pretend that in every film, he is the same character and he’s using different aliases and the other characters in his films just haven’t picked up on the fact that he has a British accent.

I liked this film overall. It wasn’t a classic and will probably be forgettable to me after I do a few shots but it provided me with a better than decent time for just under two hours.

Rating: 6.75/10

Film Review: Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Release Date: April 12th, 2016 (Dolby Theatre premiere)
Directed by: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Written by: Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely
Based on: Captain America by Joe Simon, Jack Kirby
Music by: Henry Jackman
Cast: Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Renner, Chadwick Boseman, Paul Bettany, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Rudd, Emily VanCamp, Tom Holland, Frank Grillo, William Hurt, Daniel Brühl

Marvel Studios, Walt Disney Studios, 147 Minutes

Review:

The last time a bunch of Avengers got together on the big screen, the result was pretty lackluster. Actually, I could say it was pretty shitty. So, was Captain America: Civil War any better?

Well, it is based off of one of Marvel’s biggest events in the comic books over the last few years. It sees things come to a breaking point and it pits two groups of heroes against one another: one team led by Captain America and the other led by Iron Man. I was pretty happy with the comic series, so I had a bit of hope that the cinematic interpretation of that plot would generate a worthwhile film.

The biggest criticism I have, is the same criticism I’ve had with the Avengers films, there are too many people and they aren’t handled well in an ensemble. Sure, we get little bits of character development in some areas but ultimately, some of these characters, who don’t have their own solo films, would benefit more if they were to have their own two hour outing. I mean, hasn’t Scarlett Johansson earned a Black Widow movie yet? Or just put her with Hawkeye and two of the original Avengers can actually have some room to breathe on their own. Black Panther is getting his own movie but I doubt the Scarlet Witch is because she doesn’t have a penis.

Another criticism, is the gigantic fonts every time the film had to announce what location they were in. It was overwhelming on the big screen. Glad I didn’t see this in 3D because I would’ve been punching the air. I get that each Marvel film is different, and that’s good, but it made the visual style feel noticeably inconsistent with the other movies.

One thing I hate in films, these days, are action sequences where the camera cuts to a new shot for every punch, kick, throw, jump or any stunt, really. Mix that in with the shaky camera effect during the action and it is hard to tell what the hell is going on. It just looks like someone edited together a bunch of one second clips from high school lunchroom fights on YouTube. It also takes away from the stunts themselves and doesn’t really show the hard work of one of the most thankless jobs in Hollywood. As I mentioned style inconsistency before, this also fits into that, as the earlier Marvel films were more crisp and fluid and didn’t try to come off as some uber realistic gritty street fight.

This really wasn’t a Captain America film, it was an Avengers film. I will say that it was the best of the Avengers flicks but it was the worst of the Captain America ones.

The movie was too damn long, a lot of unnecessary shit was drawn out. I’d rather the film focus on building the newer characters than having half of the pointless shit that I had to sit through. It could’ve been an hour less and it wouldn’t have made much of a difference, other than improving the picture.

Another major problem with this film, which plagues everything that Marvel does on the film front, is it wasted its villains and it made them generic and not memorable at all.

When I first heard that Baron Zemo was in this film, I was excited. He’s been one of my favorite Marvel villains for years. He’s cool as hell and he got even more awesome when he started leading the Thunderbolts team. He had a great mask, a great style and was just a fantastic bad guy. In this movie, he’s some Colonel from that country the Avengers destroyed in the last movie and he just wears normal clothes. No cool mask, no endless supply of money, no cool pistol, nothing interesting or cool whatsoever. He looked like my friend French Kevin’s dad. Anyone could’ve played Zemo and just showed up to work in flip flops and a wife beater and Marvel would’ve just been like, “Looks great! This guy is seriously a credible threat!”

Crossbones showed up to. Well, he was in the previous Captain America film. In this movie, he has a cool outfit and looks Crossbones-esque. But then he gets beat up and blows himself up. So, one of Captain America’s best villains, is wasted in ten minutes. Kind of like how they did Baron Von Strucker in the last Avengers movie.

Marvel can’t do villains. If they actually treated them like they did their heroes, they could be great. But what we get, is awesome heroes fighting French Kevin’s dad in every movie. And Thanos is still coming, right? Because we haven’t seen him in a while. Or are the Avengers just going to fight an angry P.T.A. that has taken over an elementary cafeteria in the next movie?

I will say that Black Panther was cool but I’m not totally sold, Winter Soldier was great but he always is and Spider-Man was refreshing. Granted, I can’t judge Spidey until I see his own film but Tom Holland seems like a great casting choice. The kid just feels right.

In the end, this certainly did not live up to the hype. It was nowhere as iconic as the Civil War that happened in the comic books. It didn’t feel nearly as important as that. Although, Tony Stark did embrace the fascist dickbag persona, at least for awhile, as Disney was too cowardly to just make him the villain of the story, outright. And their cowardice was also apparent when there were no real prices to pay at the end of this thing. No one died. I’m not saying that is necessary but the weight of the collateral damage and human wreckage in the comic books, is really what made Civil War so impactful.

I’m just glad that Tony Stark got his ass kicked in by Captain America. Freedom. Mother. Fucker.

Rating: 7/10

Film Review: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Release Date: March 13th, 2014 (El Capitan Theatre premiere)
Directed by: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Written by: Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely
Based on: Captain America by Joe Simon, Jack Kirby
Music by: Henry Jackman
Cast: Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Cobie Smulders, Frank Grillo, Emily VanCamp, Hayley Atwell, Robert Redford, Samuel L. Jackson, Georges St-Pierre

Marvel Studios, Walt Disney Studios, 136 Minutes

Review:

*Written in 2014.

It took me some time to get to the theater to see this due to my ridiculous schedule lately but I finally got around to it, just in time to drop a review about 3 weeks too late. But whatever, here it goes.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier is unlike any other Marvel film before it. Granted, they all fit different subgenres other than just being straightforward comic book movies but this chapter in the ongoing Avengers cinematic saga was something refreshing and quite spectacular.

Instead of a cookie cutter over the top blockbuster ass kicker film, we got more of a political thriller, a conspiracy movie and a great espionage flick rolled into one big cornucopia of awesomeness with a handful of action sequences that didn’t feel overdone or made just for the sake of trying to placate to those soulless tentpole fanboys who worship the Michael Bay style of filmmaking. In fact, the film was so engaging that when action sequences started, it was like, “Oh yeah, I’m watching a comic book movie!”

Now this wasn’t a flawless film by any means but despite that, I thought it was the best Marvel film in the Avengers series. It had the best story that the studio has given us so far and it took chances that the other films haven’t. Chris Evans was great, as were Sam Jackson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Cobie Smulders and Robert Redford. Then there was Scarlett Johansson, I always love Scarlett Johansson.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier was not just a worthwhile comic book movie, in an era where they are becoming way too common, mundane and redundant, but it may be the best film in that genre since 2008’s The Dark Knight. On IMDB it currently sits with a rating of 8.2; I say that it is a well earned rating and I don’t disagree with it.

*2016 Update: It is infinitely better than its sequel Captain America: Civil War.

Rating: 8.75/10