Film Review: Avenging Angel (1985)

Also known as: Angel II, Angel II: Avenging Angel (alternative titles)
Release Date: January 11th, 1985
Directed by: Robert Vincent O’Neil
Written by: Robert Vincent O’Neil. Joseph Michael Cala
Music by: Christopher Young
Cast: Betsy Russell, Rory Calhoun, Susan Tyrrell, Ossie Davis, Steven M. Porter, Robert F. Lyons, Frank Doubleday, Barry Pearl, Ross Hagen

Avenging Venture, Republic Entertainment International, New World Pictures, 93 Minutes

Review:

“Good God almighty! The little sidewinder pee’d all over me!” – Kit Carson

After watching Angel, I figured I’d give the sequels a shot but that also hindered on how much of a step down this one was. I’m glad to say that I mostly enjoyed it but it’s not really in the same ballpark as its predecessor. Still, I’ll probably watch the other two, assuming they’re streaming somewhere.

So this one does bring back some of the characters I liked in the first film while also recasting the role of Angel with Betsy Russell, who has always had my full attention. She even made those abysmally bad Saw sequels a wee bit more palatable than they otherwise would have been.

Original Angel, Donna Wilkes, didn’t come back because supposedly, she had salary demands that the producers didn’t want to meet.

I think the recasting makes sense, though, due to the movie jumping ahead four years. Although, I think the time jump also made it less controversial, as the title character was no longer fifteen years-old. Now the character was in law school and definitely made to be sexier, as she was nineteen years-old and technically legal.

Russell has a much stronger presence than the previous Angel, overall, but that’s also not a knock against Donna Wilkes. Russell just felt like she was experienced, tougher and able to handle her shit in a way that Wilkes’ fifteen year-old Angel couldn’t.

I really liked Russell in this a lot and she had good chemistry with the returning cast, specifically Susan Tyrrell and Rory Calhoun.

I also liked the rest of the crew with Yo-Yo Charlie getting a bigger role and the edition of Johnny Glitter, who is a character that honestly cracked me up. Veteran actor Ossie Davis was also a good addition to the cast.

Overall, I felt like the story was weaker. The whole thing about Angel being a minor tricking on the streets wasn’t part of the narrative and this movie loses that edge and her character no longer feels like an innocent child in a scummy, dark world.

It’s obvious that this was made just to try and replicate the surprise success of its predecessor but it’s just more of an action crime movie. The fact that there isn’t a sadistic serial killer was also a step down. This just follows Angel as she hunts down the thugs that murdered her police friend that became somewhat of a father figure to her.

In the end, the good guys win and they go on with their lives. Although, there are two more movies. Sadly, no one returns for the other films.

Rating: 6/10

Film Review: Angel (1983)

Release Date: November 2nd, 1983 (Italy)
Directed by: Robert Vincent O’Neil
Written by: Joseph Michael Cala, Robert Vincent O’Neil
Music by: Craig Safan
Cast: Donna Wilkes, Cliff Gorman, Susan Tyrell, Dick Shawn, Rory Calhoun, John Diehl, Elaine Giftos

Adams Apple Film Company, Planet Productions, Angel Venture, New World Pictures, 94 Minutes

Review:

“High School Honor Student by Day. Hollywood Hooker by Night.” – tagline

This was a much more enjoyable movie than I had anticipated. It was actually in my queue to watch but I ended up seeing it because it was featured on the most recent Joe Bob Briggs The Last Drive-In special.

The story is about a fifteen year-old girl who is an honor student in a prestigious Los Angeles private school while being a street hooker on Hollywood Blvd. at night. It’s a pretty unsettling premise and it’s not something that would get made today.

That being said, the material is handled kind of classily, even if the film pushes the boundaries quite a bit. However, you never see this then twenty-two year-old actress performing sex or simulating sex as this fifteen year-old character.

The reason for her being a child turning tricks is that her mother ran off and left her behind with just $100 to survive on. So Angel decided to do what she had to do to make a life for herself, get an elite education and eventually leave her terrible life behind. She also entertains a fantasy about her father coming back for her and hangs a lot of her hopes on that.

However, Angel has found a family of societal misfits that actually is a better family than the one that abandoned her and that’s a really sweet thing in this movie. Like Angel, you find it hard not to care for these odd people and there’s something beautiful about seeing a group of friends, thrown away by “decent” society come together to support one another like a real family.

Beyond that, this story is about the danger surrounding Angel’s lifestyle. This doesn’t just show the regular threats she can run into on any given night but it also features a psychotic serial killer that is hiding in the shadows, murdering hookers.

The killer is played by John Diehl, just before he would go on to his most famous role in Miami Vice. I’ve always liked Diehl and in this, he’s just chilling and incredibly convincing as this psycho. Honestly, his performance and his demeanor come close to rivaling that of Tom Noonan in Manhunter.

I liked the supporting cast in this too from Dick Shawn, as the transvestite hooker, to Rory Calhoun, as an ex-cowboy movie star, to Susan Tyrell, as the artist landlady that is crass and badass but also has a heart of gold.

This is an edgy ’80s movie that borders on exploitation but reels it in just enough that it’s able to be a much better motion picture than it would have been if it fully embraced the exploitation.

Angel surprised me and I liked it quite a bit. It’s an interesting take on the ’70s-to-’80s action vigilante story and it has real heart and great, memorable characters.

Rating: 7.25/10

Film Review: The Brood (1979)

Release Date: May 25th, 1979
Directed by: David Cronenberg
Written by: David Cronenberg
Music by: Howard Shore
Cast: Oliver Reed, Samantha Eggar, Art Hindle

Mutual Productions, Elgin International Films, Canadian Film Development Corporation, New World Pictures, 92 Minutes

Review:

“They’re her children. More exactly, they’re the children of her rage.” – Dr. Hal Raglan

The Brood is one of my favorite David Cronenberg movies and the one where I think everything really clicked for him, as a director.

Man, the atmosphere is thick in this movie. Honestly, the picture just broods over you, as you watch it and while that pun is slightly intended, I don’t think that effect was specifically intended by Cronenberg. He just created such a gripping thriller that’s ridiculously creepy to the point that it sort of squeezes you, as the plot unfolds with dark twists and reveals that get increasingly more fucked up as the plot progresses to its insane and powerful finale.

The story is bizarre, batshit crazy and really takes body horror to a level that is distinctly Cronenberg but in 1979, had to simply shock the living hell out of moviegoers.

The picture also features a really creepy, facially deformed, killer kid. However, you then learn that there’s a few more… and eventually, a lot more.

It’s kind of hard to summarize the plot, but there’s this woo woo “scientist” and his cult-like therapy compound. The methods this guy uses leads to the horrors in the film and the physiological changes to the once normal mother of these mutant demon babies.

The film also features one of my favorite Oliver Reed performances. Admittedly, I think that Reed is always stupendous but he nails this role, is convincing as hell and despite his evils, you kind of want to see him survive the threat of the evil, rage-filled children.

I also thought that Samantha Eggar was so fucking good, especially when the big reveal happens. She was chilling, scary and like Reed, convincing.

David Cronenberg reached new heights, creatively speaking, with this motion picture. For film and especially horror aficionados, this was a great thing, as we’d get Scanners, Videodrome and The Fly remake in the coming years.

Rating: 8.5/10

Film Review: The Gladiator (1986)

Release Date: February 3rd, 1986
Directed by: Abel Ferrara
Written by: William Bleich
Music by: David Frank
Cast: Ken Wahl, Nancy Allen, Brian Robbins, Robert Culp, Stan Shaw, Rick Dees, Rosemary Forsyth

Walker Brothers Productions, New World Television, ABC, 98 Minutes

Review:

“There’s order to the chaos of the universe – as above, so below. I mean, even here, there’s a natural order posed by me, because here: I am God.” – Joe Barker

I really like Ken Wahl and Nancy Allen, so I thought a movie where Wahl turns vigilante and makes his truck a weaponized killing machine would be pretty badass! Well, I was let down.

Wahl’s truck is actually just reinforced with some heavy add-ons and a harpoon gun that basically immobilizes vehicles. He’s not really doing Mad Max shit but he is still trying to clean up the streets while hunting for the killer driver that murdered his brother and several other people.

I thought that Wahl was pretty good in this but the movie was slow as hell. It has some good, action-packed moments but it just leaves you wanting more and never really delivers in the way that you’d hope.

I felt like Nancy Allen was barely in it, as well.

But this was a movie that was made for television and there is only so much that you could get away with on network TV in the ’80s.

This is just one of those films that sits in limbo: it’s not necessarily a waste of time but it also isn’t worth going out of your way to watch.

Rating: 5/10

Film Review: Sorceress (1982)

Also known as: The Barbarian Women (working title)
Release Date: October 1st, 1982 (Atlanta premiere)
Directed by: Jack Hill (as Brian Stuart)
Written by: Jack Hill (uncredited), Jim Wynorski
Music by: James Horner (reusing themes from Battle Beyond the Stars)
Cast: Leigh Harris, Lynette Harris, Bob Nelson, David Millbern, Bruno Rey, Ana De Sade, Roberto Ballesteros, Douglas Sanders, Tony Stevens, Martin LaSalle

CONACINE, New World Pictures, 83 Minutes

Review:

“I did not train you men in my arts so that you would hunt down and butcher women.” – Krona, “You never could understand the greater values!” – Traigon

This is an ’80s sword and sorcery film that I had never seen. Reading up on it before watching it, it looked like the critical and public consensus were trying to warn me away. For the most part, no one seemed to have a positive take on this movie but I also didn’t care, as I’ll watch anything once.

Considering that this was produced by Roger Corman, I kind of had an idea of its overall quality and style. However, it was directed by Jack Hill and even though he leans heavy into the schlocky side of things, he’s made a few films I kind of adore.

So this is, by academic standards, a bad movie. However, I liked it, as it’s the sort of bad that I enjoy and its wonderful level of cheese was the right flavor.

The costumes and sets are very basic and fairly hokey. The special effects are cheap but kind of cool. The acting is borderline atrocious. Yet, all these parts compliment each other, creating a smorgasbord of B-movie awesomeness.

I like the characters, regardless of how bad their line delivery is. The hero ensemble of the hot twins, the Viking, the satyr and the barbarian was really neat. I especially liked the satyr character and frankly, there aren’t enough satyrs used in movies. Mr. Tumnus doesn’t count because technically he’s a faun.

Anyway, this features a cookie cutter, paint-by-numbers sword and sorcery plot. Being that it came out in 1982, though, it was ahead of the curve in the emerging genre. It certainly came out before the genre peaked and was then beaten to death by schlockmeisters around the world.

The finale of this movie is pretty great. Once the two gods show up in the night sky and have their strange deity battle, things truly turn up to eleven and it’s hard not to enjoy unless you’re a heartless snob that pisses on fun and thinks every movie should be akin to The English Patient.

I know, most normal people couldn’t sit through ten minutes of this flick. However, most normal people, these days, lack imagination and embrace lowest common denominator blockbusters.

Rating: 5.25/10

Film Review: The Philadelphia Experiment (1984)

Release Date: August 3rd, 1984
Directed by: Stewart Raffill
Written by: Wallace C. Bennett, William Gray, Don Jakoby, Michael Janover
Based on: The Philadelphia Experiment: Project Invisibility by Charles Berlitz, William L. Moore
Music by: Kenneth Wannberg
Cast: Michael Paré, Nancy Allen, Eric Christmas, Bobby Di Cicco, Stephen Tobolowsky, Michael Currie

New Pictures, Cinema Group Ventures, New World Pictures, 102 Minutes

Review:

“You know, I got it all figured out… Navy owes me 40 years back pay.” – David Herdeg

In my mind, I thought that I had seen this movie once or twice, as a kid. I was wrong. I have never seen this until now and my memory played tricks on me by conflating images of other movies that may not even be remotely accurate. Hey, I’ve done some drugs at different points in my life.

Anyway, I thought that this was a really weird movie, even for ’80s standards and the story was pretty wonky. Still, I did enjoy it and I really liked the bond that developed between the leads: Michael Paré and Nancy Allen.

The story is about these two Navy seamen that were aboard a ship during a strange experiment where the Navy were trying to make the vessel invisible to give them a tactical advantage during World War II. This experiment made the ship vanish but with that, the two seamen were transported through time to 1984. The time travel also gave them some weird sci-fi side effects and one of the men keeps having seizures and electrical phenomenon happening to his body until he eventually explodes into pure energy and disappears. The rest of the film is a race against time, as Michael Paré’s character is trying to solve his dilemma before the same fate happens to him.

This is also an “on the run”/road trip movie similar to Starman and other films where a protagonist is trying to outrun and outwit authorities in an effort to reach their goal.

I liked Paré a lot in this and I always thought that he was an underutilized actor that should’ve reached bigger heights in the ’80s. I also liked Nancy Allen too but she’s been a favorite of mine ever since I saw the original RoboCop, as a wee li’l lad.

The film is entertaining and it was a cool picture in spite of its hokiness and strange premise. It is slow in a few parts and the climax is a bit weird but it’s still a worthwhile experience. Granted, I don’t know if it’s something I’ll ever go out of my way to watch again.

Rating: 6.5/10
Pairs well with: other early ’80s sci-fi and “on the run” movies.

Film Review: Children of the Corn (1984)

Also known as: Stephen King’s Children of the Corn (complete title)
Release Date: March 9th, 1984
Directed by: Fritz Kiersch
Written by: George Goldsmith
Based on: Children of the Corn by Stephen King
Music by: Jonathan Elias
Cast: Peter Horton, Linda Hamilton, R. G. Armstrong, John Franklin, Courtney Gains

Angeles Entertainment Group, Hal Roach Studios, New World Pictures, 92 Minutes

Review:

“Any religion without love and compassion is false! It’s a lie!” – Burt

Linda Hamilton had a big career making year in 1984 between this film and The Terminator, which was released months later.

I was never a big fan of this movie, even as a kid, but I guess I appreciate it more now. I mean, it’s certainly eerie and effective. However, everything in it seems kind of pointless, other than it’s cool seeing fucked up, murdering children that pray to some evil god birthed from the mind of Stephen King.

This is an example of why some things work much better as a short story, as this was originally written. There just isn’t enough here to justify a longer story and seeing it adapted into a movie turned it into a slow, drawn out affair where almost nothing really happens, except in the prologue and at the end.

Other than that, half the movie is driving around cornfields and then the other half is hiding from killer kids carrying farm tools.

The story is about kids in a small town following a child preacher who convinces them to kill all the adults. Whenever other adults wander into town, they get sacrificed to the bizarre cornfield god that travels through dirt like the monsters from Tremors.

I do like Isaac, the primary villain in this, though. I always thought he was scary but he also had something a bit off about him. I didn’t know until years later that the actor was actually in his 20s when he played this role. He dies in this but he would return years later in the sixth film. However, I’ve never seen any of the sequels but I may dive into them to review because why not?

Overall, this is slow as hell but I wouldn’t call it boring. As for Stephen King film adaptations, this is one of the poorer ones of the ’80s. A lot of people liked it, though, and I could be in the minority. I just feel like it doesn’t come close to holding a candle to the best of King’s adaptations or the horror classics of its decade.

Rating: 5.25/10
Pairs well with: its sequels, as well as other Stephen King film adaptations.

Film Review: The Punisher (1989)

Release Date: October 5th, 1989 (Germany)
Directed by: Mark Goldblatt
Written by: Boaz Yakin
Based on: The Punisher by Gerry Conway, Ross Andru, John Romita Sr.
Music by: Dennis Dreith
Cast: Dolph Lundgren, Louis Gossett Jr., Jeroen Krabbe, Kim Miyori

Marvel Entertainment, New World Pictures, 89 Minutes, 76 Minutes (heavily cut), 98 Minutes (workprint version)

Review:

“If you’re guilty, you’re dead.” – Frank Castle

While I know that this isn’t as good as the 2004 Punisher movie, this is still my favorite film of the lot and Dolph Lundgren really embodied the version of Frank Castle that I envisioned as a kid in the late ’80s, just discovering Punisher comics.

I loved the fuck out of this movie when I saw it in 1990, once it hit video store shelves in my area. I would’ve loved to have seen it in the theater but I lived in a small town with small theaters that played it safe, didn’t take risks and have now mostly been replaced with better theaters offering more variety… and alcohol.

Dolph Lundgren is just fucking perfect in this and nothing else about the film really matters. Sure, I like Louis Gossett Jr. but he’s kind of a non-event in the picture, as is everyone else, except the mob boss turned vigilante that helps the Punisher fight ninjas in an effort to rescue his kidnapped son.

This wasn’t made by Cannon, it was in fact made by New World, but it has that Cannon vibe to it albeit with an even cheaper budget. Still, its a solid mix of gritty, ’80s action, a badass hero and more ammo wasted than an Argentinian coup.

One sequence that really stands out is where we get to see the Punisher battle a hoard of machine gun ninjas in a decrepit carnival funhouse. Granted, I also loved the big finale that saw our hero and the mobster douche machine gun the crap out of ninjas.

All in all, this is just a badass flick with uber amounts of testosterone, one of the best, most physically intimidating action stars of all-time and it feels true to the source material. It’s certainly better than everything that came after that Thomas Jane Punisher movie. 

Rating: 7.75/10
Pairs well with: other Marvel live-action films pre-MCU.

Film Review: The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

Also known as: Don’t Open the Door, The Overnight Massacre (working titles), The Slumber Party Murders (UK), Slumber Party (France), O Massacre (Brazil), Sleepless Nights (alternative title)
Release Date: September 10th, 1982 (Los Angeles premiere)
Directed by: Amy Holden Brown
Written by: Rita Mae Brown
Music by: Ralph Jones
Cast: Michele Michaels, Robin Stille, Michael Villella

Santa Fe Productions, New World Pictures, 77 Minutes

Review:

“Y’know, I think your tits are getting bigger.” – Diane, “Mine?!” – various girls

Man, this is just about as bare bones as a slasher film can get. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing, as this does stick pretty close to the core of what made these films great in their heyday. But on the flipside of that, this isn’t as great as the better offerings from this subgenre of horror.

I do like this film, though, as it gets down to the nitty gritty and doesn’t waste a lot of time getting to the gruesome point. Although, the version that I’ve seen over the years, cuts away before you get to see any real gore. Which is pretty weak, considering that the killer’s weapon of choice is a very large power drill.

The weapon isn’t all that original, as the more over-the-top and violent Driller Killer was released in 1979. But it’s certainly a better weapon that just having the guy use some big, generic knife. Also, the drill became the instrument of death in this film series and this is actually a better movie than Driller Killer.

I actually found the simplicity of this film to be refreshing, as many slasher movies get bogged down by trying to make you care about the teens and by trying to make a memorable monster with a cool look. This film just says, “Fuck it!” and gives you normal, kind of generic teens, as well as a killer that’s just some normal dude that escaped a mental hospital. And really, that’s all you need to know. Dude’s crazy, chicks are hot, crazy dude wants to kill hot chicks because he’s crazy.

In its simplicity, it actually works well for the characters because it kind of lets the actresses’ personalities come out, as they’re pretty much just versions of themselves. And with that, you strangely care about them more than them simply playing a trope.

In fact, there’s this part of you that feels bad when one of the heroines actually has to fight back and kill the driller creep because you don’t want them to end up permanently damaged from the ordeal. It’s weird how that worked but I felt legitimately sad that the girls had to go there when typically, in a slasher film, this is just accepted as part of the narrative.

The Slumber Party Massacre is a better film than it should be and that’s really what I like about it. As I’ve said, it’s bare bones but it is damn effective.

Being that this was put out by New World Pictures, also means that it could’ve just had that magical Roger Corman touch. Also, the films in this series are all written and directed by women and maybe that perspective made for a better final product in regards to the final girl formula.

Rating: 6/10
Pairs well with: its sequels, as well as other ’80s slasher flicks.

Film Review: Dead Heat (1988)

Release Date: May 6th, 1988
Directed by: Mark Goldblatt
Written by: Terry Black
Music by: Ernest Troost
Cast: Treat Williams, Joe Piscopo, Darren McGavin, Lindsay Frost, Vincent Price, Keye Luke, Robert Picardo, Professor Toru Tanaka, Shane Black

Helpren/Meltzer, New World Pictures, 86 Minutes

Review:

“[He shuts the porno mag the clerk’s being reading] Sorry to interrupt your erection.” – Det. Doug Bigelow

Dead Heat is greatly underappreciated. That’s probably because it bombed in the theater and then got brushed aside and barely even made a blip on the cable TV radar in the ’90s. By then it probably seemed really outdated and so cheesy that even late night movie shows didn’t really touch it.

I actually saw this on VHS around 1990 or so and thought it was pretty cool but it just never reemerged anywhere else until it popped up on streaming services within the last couple of years.

I was glad that it was most recently featured on Joe Bob Brigg’s The Last Drive-In, as it needs to be discovered and showcased for a new generation and for the old generation that might’ve missed it.

The film is written by Terry Black, the older brother of Shane.

Shane Black had already made waves after writing Lethal Weapon and The Monster Squad while also working on Predator and Night of the Creeps. Older brother kind of followed little brother here, as the story for Dead Heat is like a mash up of some of those other movies in how it features an action heavy buddy cop story with elements of horror and a bit of slapstick comedy.

That being said, the script was really creative and it provided a movie with a lot of really cool scenes and monster encounters: most notably the zombie animals that came to life despite being halfway butchered.

These scenes worked so well though because the special effects were solid. I mean, this was made by New World and thus, the production operated under Roger Corman economics. Despite that, the practical effects of the monsters looked great.

Additionally, some of the other effects were impressive too, such as the scene where Lindsay Frost decays into nothingness.

The film stars Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo as the two buddy cops but it also stars a great villain duo that features Darren McGavin and legendary Vincent Price. Everyone played well off of each other and all the core actors looked like they were having fun hamming it up and making this bonkers movie.

This is such a weird and unique picture that more people really should check it out. It’s amusing, enjoyable and deserving of more recognition than it initially received.

Rating: 6.5/10
Pairs well with: other goofy horror comedies of the ’80s like the first two Return of the Living Dead Movies, C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud, TerrorVision, etc.