Release Date: April 26th, 2007 (London premiere) Directed by: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo Written by: Rowan Joffe, Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, E. L. Lavigne, Jesus Olmo Music by: John Murphy Cast: Robert Carlyle, Rose Byrne, Jeremy Renner, Harold Perrineau, Catherine McCormack, Imogen Poots, Idris Elba, Mackintosh Muggleton, Amanda Walker
UK Film Council, DNA Films, Fox Atomic, 100 Minutes
Review:
“It all makes sense. They’re executing code red. Step 1: Kill the infected. Step 2: Containment. If containment fails, then Step 3: Extermination.” – Scarlet
I haven’t seen this since the theater and I never had much urge to revisit it. However, I did revisit and review its predecessor 28 Days Later, so I figured this deserved a rewatch while that movie was still fresh in my head.
Strangely, until rewatching this, I didn’t know that Jeremy Renner and Idris Elba were in this. It came out before I really knew who they were, so their appearances here must’ve just flushed down the memory hole.
For the most part, the performances in this movie are pretty great from Renner, Robert Carlyle, Rose Byrne, Harold Perrineau and others. Even the kids were okay and didn’t annoy the shit out of me. They were pretty mature and played their parts very solidly.
There are a few highpoints in this movie.
The opening is pretty fucking incredible while being both parts heartbreaking and infuriating. Then the middle part that sees the zombies overrun the “safe” streets where the military literally starts killing innocent people to neutralize the threat is scary, effective and well done. Everything after that moment is decent too.
My biggest issue with this movie, though, is that the pacing was all over the place and the first half of the film, after the opening, is so slow I was bored to tears. I also, for whatever reason, couldn’t connect to the characters or their stories. I just didn’t give a shit about anything happening in this film until shit really hit the fan. But even then, I wasn’t anywhere near as invested in the characters as I should’ve been.
Overall, this isn’t a bad film but it’s not a particularly good one or a movie that I’ll probably ever have the urge to watch again.
Also, I’m still waiting on that third movie that never came but unless Danny Boyle, himself, directs it, I’m probably not going to care much at this point.
Release Date: August 25th, 1999 (Spain premiere) Directed by: Roman Polanski Written by: John Brownjohn, Roman Polanski, Enrique Urbizu Based on:The Club Dumas by Arturo Perez-Reverte Music by: Wojciech Kilar Cast: Johnny Depp, Lena Olin, Frank Langella, James Russo, Jack Taylor, Emmanuelle Seigner, Allen Garfield, Barbara Jefford
“There’s nothing more reliable than a man whose loyalty can be bought for hard cash.” – Boris Balkan
I don’t know what it is about this movie but I’ve probably watched it more times than anyone else I’ve ever met because it enchants me and grabs my attention. Something about it is cool, mesmerizing and weirdly soothing.
I also like that it blends supernatural, biblical horror with film-noir. Horror and noir were always a really good thing when paired up and a lot of those early RKO horror films that Val Lewton produced, showcased the blending of these genres exceptionally well.
This is directed by Roman Polanski, who made one of the greatest neo-noir movies of all-time with 1974’s Chinatown. Here, he takes some of that noir experience and adds it to a more contemporary film. And like Chinatown, this moves at a slow and steady pace but definitely not a boring one. The film is a slow burn all the way up to its finale, which I thought was pretty neat and satisfying.
The plot plays out like a game. You have a very rich publisher that hires a rare book dealer to track down the other copies of an extremely rare book that could very well be tied to the Devil. With that, he sets off on this adventure and crosses paths with a lot of mysterious people who have their own agendas, most of them being pretty sinister. The book dealer also gets assistance from a mysterious, unnamed girl, whose motivations are never clear. Later on, we also see that this girl has powers that make you wonder if she’s an angel or a fallen angel or even possibly a demon or some important biblical character.
There’s a Satanic cult, murder plots, twists, turns and serious curveballs that I didn’t see coming the first time I viewed this film. All the while, it does seem pretty clear that one of these people is pulling a lot of the strings.
The atmosphere of the film is one of the things that make this such a visually beautiful picture. While a lot of that has to do with the general cinematography, I think that the score by Wojciech Kilar is stellar and really gives this movie its life and energy while enhancing those visuals.
This is also one of my favorite roles that Johnny Depp has ever played and I thought that his fairly chill, almost understated performance was perfect for the tone of the story. I also thought that Frank Langella was magnificent and this is my favorite thing that he’s done besides Skeletor and Dracula.
The Ninth Gate was a movie that came out and seemed to be completely overlooked. Still, I know that most people haven’t seen it, over two decades later. It reminds me of the ’70s style of serious, religious horror. If that stuff is your thing, this should be right up your alley.
Also known as: Faust (shortened title) Release Date: Octoberber 12th, 2000 (Stiges International Fantastic Film Festival) Directed by: Brian Yuzna Written by: David Quinn, Miguel Tejada-Flores Based on:Faust by Tim Vigil, David Quinn Music by: Xavier Capellas Cast: Mark Frost, Isabel Brook, Jennifer Rope, Jeffrey Combs, Andrew Divoff, Monica Van Campen
Televisio de Catalunya, Fantastic Factory, Castelao Producciones, 98 Minutes
Review:
“You are the universe. Alpha and Omega. The beast with ten thousand young. Now go forth and mutilate!” – M
So I’ve been aware of the Faust comic for years, as it was one of those legendary things us kids talked about in middle school because we had all heard of it but none of us owned any issues because it was a very adult outlaw comic. I still haven’t read it but I’m more familiar with it now, as many comic book YouTube channels have showcased it.
I didn’t know until more recently that there was a film adaptation of the comic and that it was done by Brian f’n Yuzna of all people, which definitely makes it worth checking out if you are a fan of his better known work like Re-Animator, From Beyond and Society.
Like those films, this one features over-the-top body horror and gore. It’s also full of dark humor and senseless violence, all of which is done in Yuzna’s patented style.
It’s actually cool seeing Yuzna direct a superhero film and using a character that fits so perfectly with his filmmaking style.
Additionally, I also love that Yuzna regular Jeffrey Combs is in this. While he’s not the main character, his role is pretty big and pivotal to the overall film.
This is a pretty bad movie, though, even for Yuzna. Yes, I do like it for all the things I already mentioned but the acting is well below what’s even normal for a Yuzna picture. Also, while some of the effects work, many of them don’t and it feels sloppily thrown together in some sequences and it makes me question how much control Yuzna had or if the production found itself well behind schedule or way over budget.
Regarding the budget, it’s obvious that Yuzna was working with even less money than what he was usually able to muster up.
Faust is a poorly made movie by a guy that can typically make chicken salad with chicken shit. However, maybe this was just too big in scale and way too ambitious of a project to have been approached in the way Yuzna typically makes his movies.
Also known as: The Demon Planet (US TV title), Planet of Blood, Space Mutants, Terror In Space, The Haunted Planet, The Haunted World, The Outlawed Planet, The Planet of Terror, The Planet of the Damned (alternative titles) Release Date: September 15th, 1965 (Italy) Directed by: Mario Bava Written by: Ib Melchior Based on:One Night of 21 Hours by Renato Pestriniero Music by: Gino Marinuzzi Jr. Cast: Barry Sullivan, Norma Bengell, Angel Aranda, Evi Marandi
Italian International Film, Castilla Cooperativa Cinematográfica, American International Pictures, 88 Minutes
Review:
“I’ll tell you this, if there are any intelligent creatures on this planet… they’re our enemies.” – Capt. Mark Markary
While Mario Bava is mostly known for his horror and giallo pictures, I really liked when he did more ambitious, larger scale things like this and Danger: Diabolik.
Bava was really good at making Italian blockbusters that looked more epic in scale and production cost than a typical ghost story or murder mystery. But I guess he was just a superb director all around because even his misses are still enjoyable and have enough positives to make them worthwhile.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this specific Bava film. So long in fact, that when I had seen it previously, I didn’t really know who Bava was and I certainly wasn’t as acclimated to his work, as I am now.
This was a favorite late night film of mine, as a kid, though. I remember it being on late night cable quite a bit when late night cable was still really fucking cool when you weren’t going down the rabbit hole of infomercials.
I always loved the look and style of this film and I didn’t even realize it was Italian/Spanish back then. While it looked like your typical ’50s and early ’60s sci-fi epic, it was a lot more colorful and vibrant. I think it’s visual allure is what drew me to it and it’s that visual allure that would eventually become the visual style of giallo.
Beyond that, though, I loved the costumes of the crew, I loved the design of the ships, the simple but unique and stylized sets, as well as the look of the planet and all its weirdness.
The scene where we see a giant alien skeleton was so ominous and cool that it asked more questions than it answered and I’ve always kind of felt like it might have inspired the “Space Jockey” from Alien.
Planet of the Vampires is just a really cool, great, old school sci-fi/horror thriller. It’s one of my favorite Mario Bava pictures and honestly, it’s something I should revisit more often.
Also known as: El día de la bestia (original Spanish title) Release Date: September 4th, 1995 (Venice Film Festival – Italy) Directed by: Álex de la Iglesia Written by: Jorge Guerricaechevarría, Álex de la Iglesia Music by: Battista Lena Cast: Álex Angulo, Armando De Razza, Santiago Segura, Maria Grazia Cucinotta
Canal+ España, Iberoamericana Films Producción, M.G. S.R.L, 103 Minutes
Review:
“Well, it’s fundamental. lt inspired me to see the Apocalypse not as an allegory but as an equation. Each letter has its own number. So, for example… Daleth is worth four, and Synn is worth three hundred, so we can…” – Cura
El Día de laBestia a.k.a. The Day of the Beast is a film that never popped up on my radar until Joe Bob Briggs featured it on a third season episode of The Last Drive-In. I’m glad he did show it, though, as it was a pretty cool occult horror picture from Spain.
Being that I worked in video stores in the ’90s, I’m surprised that I never came across this. If I did, I may have easily dismissed it due to it being foreign and having VHS box art that didn’t catch my eye.
This is a damn cool movie and it fits well with the rise of biblical and occult horror pictures of the mid-to-late ’90s, which I think was born out of people’s strange fear of approaching the new millennium.
The story is about a priest that believes that Satan is coming, so to take the Devil out, he decides to commit every sin imaginable to earn Satan’s trust and thus, kill him… I guess? The story is a bit nonsensical and deciding to become a sinner with about 24 hours on the clock probably isn’t a great plan.
However, the plan does work in that the priest and his overweight, heavy metal sidekick are able to attract some serious dark power into their lives. There’s a pretty cool scene where an occult ritual delivers a creepy presence but I don’t want to spoil the film.
While you do have to suspend a lot of disbelief due to the wonky story, the film still delivers and is entertaining as hell. Furthermore, all the core characters are really damn good and watching this all play out was a blast.
There isn’t a dull moment in the film and it flies by pretty quickly.
In the end, this has made me want to check out more from director Álex de la Iglesia.
Rating: 7.5/10 Pairs well with: other “raise the devil” or biblical horror movies of the ’90s, as well as the other films directed by Álex de la Iglesia.
Also known as: Wonder Woman 2 (informal title), WW84 (promotional title) Release Date: December 16th, 2020 (several international markets) Directed by: Patty Jenkins Written by: Patty Jenkins, Geoff Johns, David Callaham Based on:Wonder Woman by William Moulton Marston Music by: Hans Zimmer Cast: Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Kristen Wiig, Pedro Pascal, Robin Wright, Connie Nielsen, Lynda Carter (cameo)
Atlas Entertainment, DC Entertainment, DC Comics, Warner Bros., 151 Minutes
Review:
“I don’t wanna be like anyone. I want to be an apex predator. You’ve always had everything while people like me have had nothing. Well now it’s my turn. Get used to it.” – Barbara Minerva
I really liked the first Patty Jenkins Wonder Woman movie. However, I always felt like my initial reaction was a bit overblown, as it had the same sort of long-term effect that the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies tend to give me. You see, I leave the theater really satisfied but then, as time passes, I don’t have much urge to ever rewatch them again.
I let my high rating for 2017’s Wonder Woman stand because it was my initial reaction to seeing the film for the first time. And I also thought that I’d give the sequels their fair shot at doing the same. I thought about revisiting the first movie before seeing its long-awaited and long-delayed follow-up . However, I just couldn’t muster up the interest.
Having now seen Wonder Woman 1984, I feel a bit harsher towards the first movie, as it kind of exposes some of the flaws it had a bit more. The reason being, this film shares those flaws but also shows that Jenkins couldn’t correct them and in fact, doubled down on them because she either didn’t know they were there or because she doesn’t listen to actual criticism.
The biggest of those flaws is the action. In the first film, it was wonky and not very great except for a few dynamic shots. In this movie, you open with some Amazonian Olympic games, followed by a quick action montage to reintroduce us to the film’s hero. Then you have to wait an hour and twenty minutes before you get to the first legit action sequence, which is terrible, ignores all the laws of physics and has certain things happen just for plot convenience. You then get another sequence in the White House and then one more big final fight. That’s it for a two and a half hour movie about a comic book superhero.
I actually have to say that the opening sequence of the child Diana competing against adult Amazons in their version of American Ninja Warrior was, believe it or not, my favorite thing in the film. This takes up the first ten-to-fifteen minutes of the movie and then it’s all downhill from there.
This is followed up by reintroducing us to Gal Gadot, as the adult Diana a.k.a. Wonder Woman. This is a cheesy, slapstick-y introduction that wedges in so much blatant ’80s iconography it looks like Stranger Things buttfucking The Goldbergs while sucking on Ready Player One‘s tits and reaching around to fingerbang Hot Tub Time Machine. The whole sequence is awful, lowest common denominator, try hard bullshit where the director doesn’t know what she’s doing but she’s trying to cover that up by throwing Trapper Keepers in your face.
Over an hour later we get the next action scene. This is actually the first straight up, real action scene. However, it is quick, dumb and ended with Diana lassoing a goddamned missile, riding it down the street to scoop up two kids and then crashing and rolling on the street in a way that would have killed them. But whatever.
The White House fight was actually fairly decent and the only action sequence that was. But for a high point in regards to the action, it was dull and just a paint-by-numbers affair.
The final fight sees Diana then fight Kristen Wiig’s Cheetah, who at this point has turned into an actual humanoid cheetah. The character’s CGI is deplorable. I mean, it’s really damn bad. It was hard to watch this scene, as it played like late ’90s Sci-Fi Channel cringe.
At the same time, I did feel the emotion of the conflict, as Diana cared about the woman Cheetah used to be but even then, the visuals were so shit that it ruined the connection that this confrontation needed to have with the audience. The baffling bad CGI was just distracting and pulled you right out of the film.
After that, we have to see Wonder Woman finally confront Maxwell Lord, who has essentially turned himself into a genie that is trying to grant the wishes of everyone on the planet. This whole storyline was dumb as hell, made little-to-no sense and I never really understood the villain’s true motivation other than he was a loser that craved power. It was said that this character was supposed to represent Donald Trump and be a critique of his presidency and personality. Frankly, after seeing this movie, that doesn’t make a lick of fucking sense. Also, in the end, he reverses everything and reunites with his son. Was he off the hook? Did he serve jail time? I guess none of that is important because this movie is stupid.
So between the action scenes, we have long drawn out dramatic stuff. Most of it is boring but we see Diana and Steve, her love from the first film, reunite. However, Steve came back from a wish Diana made early in the story. So, the writing was on the wall from the get go that Steve was going to have to die to beat the villain.
Moving on, the cinematography was bland and basic. It felt tonally at odds with the first picture and didn’t really feel like it had any ties to any of the other Justice League or DCEU movies. Maybe Jenkins is trying to ignore all that and just do her own thing. I don’t blame her for that, actually.
Before wrapping this up, I should also mention that there’s a pointless cameo by Lynda Carter but I do like seeing her. I just wish she would have had something more to do than catch a pole from falling on a baby.
So that’s it. This wasn’t worth the wait and really, I don’t care about a third film or anything coming out of the DCEU, anyway.
It’s Christmas, back to drinking whiskey and smoking meat.
Rating: 5/10 Pairs well with: its predecessor, as well as Aquaman and other DCEU films.
Also known as: Il bianco il giallo il nero (original Italian title), Samurai (Canada), Ring Around the Horse’s Tail (US dubbed version), Shoot First… Ask Questions Later (US alternative title) Release Date: January 17th, 1975 (Italy) Directed by: Sergio Corbucci Written by: Amendola & Corbucci, Santiago Moncada, Renee Asseo, Antonio Troisio, Marcello Coscia, Sergio Spina Music by: Guido & Maurizio De Angelis Cast: Giuliano Gemma, Tomas Milian, Eli Wallach
Filmel, Mundial Film, Tritone Cinematografica, 112 Minutes
Review:
“[about to be hanged by a gang] I’ll never die without my boots on, and a star on my chest.” – Sheriff Edward Gideon
I’ve seen and reviewed about a half dozen Sergio Corbucci spaghetti westerns in recent years. I didn’t know about this one, however, until I stumbled across it while looking for something else. But I’m glad I did, even if it’s one of Corbucci’s weaker westerns.
Still, it’s a well cast film with three cool characters that had nice chemistry and provided solid performances that required dramatic and comedic acting with a little pinch of badassness sprinkled in.
People today would probably find the fact that Italian actor Tomas Milian plays a samurai in the Old West to be “problematic” and while the character is written mostly for laughs by tapping into cultural stereotypes, Milian still gives his character a certain panache and coolness when push comes to shove.
Spaghetti western legends Eli Wallach and Giuliano Gemma also add some fun to the proceedings, with Wallach playing a Sheriff and Gemma playing a typical western cowboy.
The plot sees this unlikely trio come together to track down a stolen Japanese horse that was intended to be a gift for the US government. The three men end up embroiled in a rivalry with a band of desperadoes that are made up of former Confederate soldiers.
Side note: this film was actually made as a loose parody of the Charles Bronson starring Red Sun. Milian’s samurai character would also reappear in the film Crime at the Chinese Restaurant in 1981, directed by Sergio’s younger brother, Bruno Corbucci.
Out of the Corbucci westerns I’ve seen, this one is, unfortunately, the weakest. But I can’t fault the director for trying to do something different for his last picture in the genre. While the characters are amusing and work fairly well together, the movie does kind of miss its mark and pales in comparison to Django, The Great Silence, Compañeros and The Mercenary. I’d also rank it behind Navajo Joe, which wasn’t anywhere near as goofy and borderline slapstick-y despite having more humorous bits than Corbucci’s other spaghetti westerns.
This also lacks the gravitas of those earlier films. Not that that’s a bad thing, per se, but Corbucci sort of had a particular style with his westerns and this plays more like a generic western comedy than the great action flicks one could expect from Corbucci.
Overall, I like the casting and I enjoyed their characters but apart from that, this is almost forgettable and probably only stayed afloat in a sea of spaghetti flicks due to who made it.
Rating: 6/10 Pairs well with: other Sergio Corbucci spaghetti westerns.
Also known as: La cripta e l’incubo (original Italian title), Crypt of Horror (UK), Terror In the Crypt (US alternative title) Release Date: May 27th, 1964 (Italy) Directed by: Camillo Mastrocinque Written by: Tonino Valerii, Ernesto Gastaldi Based on:Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu Music by: Carlo Savina Cast: Christopher Lee, Adriana Ambesi, Pier Anna Quaglia, Freidrich Klauss
E.I. Associates Producers, Hispamer Films, Alta Vista, 82 Minutes
Review:
“It’s so beautiful here. Perhaps nature has purposely set the stage and is waiting for the actors to enter. But who knows if the play is farce … or tragedy. This is a spot where one could come for pleasure … or for death.” – Lyuba
Being that Christopher Lee is one of my favorite actors of all-time, it’s always cool checking out one of his films for the first time. While I’ve seen all the fairly well-known ones and most of his Hammer work, there are those odd ones that have slipped through the cracks over the years. But the guy has close to 300 acting credits to his name, so there are still several of his movies that I haven’t seen.
This one was a low budget production by Italian and Spanish studios that came out during the height of his career, just before he’d make The Devil-Ship Pirates and The Gorgon for Hammer that same year.
Also, this film is an adaptation of Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu’s Carmilla, which Hammer would also use as source material for their Karnstein trilogy of films, as well as Captain Kronos.
While Lee was no stranger to vampire films, this one provides him with a very different role. It doesn’t push him into another version of a Dracula character and instead, he plays a human count that is concerned that his daughter may be possessed by an evil spirit that brought his lineage trouble in the past.
This film is kind of slow and pretty drab for the most part. However, what it lacks in energy and poor pacing, it makes up for in atmosphere. This is a dark, haunting picture. The surviving prints of this film that have made it online and in spite of being digital, are of pretty mediocre quality. But this actually seems to work for the film, as it appears darker and in a higher contrast than what was probably originally released.
Overall, this picture looks superb, even with the physical elements working against the physical film that they eventually digitized. It’s not an exciting picture, though, but at least Lee gives a solid, convincing performance and the film convincingly manufactures a thick sense of dread and claustrophobia.
Rating: 5.5/10 Pairs well with: other horror films that Christopher Lee starred in apart from Hammer.
Also known as: Dracula ’71 (alternative US title), Bram Stoker’s Dracula (complete title), Dracula (working title) Release Date: April 3rd, 1970 (Germany) Directed by: Jesus Franco Written by: Augustino Finocchi, Peter Welbeck (English), Jesus Franco (Spanish), Carlo Fadda (Italian), Milo G. Cuccia (Italian), Dietmar Behnke (German) Based on:Dracula by Bram Stoker Music by: Bruno Nicolai Cast: Christopher Lee, Herbert Lom, Klaus Kinski, Frederick Williams, Maria Rohm, Soledad Miranda, Jack Taylor, Paul Muller, Jesus Puente
“One of my race crossed the Danube and destroyed the Turkish host. Though sometimes beaten back, he came again and again then at the end he came again for he alone could triumph. This was a Dracula indeed.” – Count Dracula
Even though Christopher Lee had already played Dracula a half dozen times by 1970, I think it was hard for him to turn down this alternative take on the role, as Spanish director Jesus Franco wanted to make a film that was the closest version of Bram Stoker’s original literary work.
That being said, this is a pretty spot on adaptation of the novel but that also works against it, as a lot of this is boring, drawn out and more focused on drama, as opposed to horror.
The first act of the film is wonderful, well paced, decently acted and it seems to come off without a hitch. However, after that, the story moves at a snail’s pace and the only things in it that are worthwhile are the few scenes with Klaus Kinski as Renfield and the absolutely stunning beauty of Soledad Miranda, who unfortunately died way too young in real life and just barely scratched the surface of her potential.
Jesus Franco would go on to essentially make films that fit the porn category more than anything else but this one is very light on being sexually exploitative and maybe that’s due to Lee’s involvement.
The film is okay but mostly forgettable other than it existing as a Lee Dracula film that isn’t a part of the Hammer continuity.
It was shot and filmed in Spain and that kind of takes you out of the picture when it’s supposed to be set in Romania and England. Watching characters run through castles and streets full of desert sand is a bizarre thing to see in a Dracula film but I digress.
Ultimately, this was cool to see, as it allowed Lee to get more into the literary Dracula without the ham and cheese of the Hammer sequels. It felt closer to the original Hammer film than any of their sequels, as far as the Dracula character goes. However, it’s completely devoid of that Hammer charm, which made those films much more iconic and memorable.
Rating: 5.5/10 Pairs well with: Christopher Lee’s Dracula films from Hammer, as well as Jesus Franco’s other vampire movies.
Also known as: Terminator 6, T6 (informal alternative titles) Release Date: October 23rd, 2019 (Belgium, Switzerland, France, UK, Ireland) Directed by: Tim Miller Written by: David Goyer, Justin Rhodes, Billy Ray, James Cameron, Charles H. Eglee, Josh Friedman Music by: Tom Holkenborg Cast: Linda Hamilton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mackenzie Davis, Natalia Reyes, Gabriel Luna, Diego Boneta, Edward Furlong, Earl Boen (archive footage)
Skydance Media, Paramount Pictures, Twentieth Century Fox, 128 Minutes
Review:
“I won’t be back.” – T-800
I hope the above quote from the T-800 actually rings true because this franchise has exhausted itself beyond repair.
Granted, it could go away for a few decades and try and reboot itself but chances are, Schwarzenegger won’t be around and he’ll be way, waaay too old. And frankly, without him, I don’t care about this franchise. Although, I did like the television show and if something came along and built off of that, we may have something. But I just don’t think that’s remotely possible anymore.
Like all the other sequels after Terminator 2: Judgment Day, fans wanted a nice hot, lobster bisque from a top notch restaurant but instead, were served a cold can of Campbell’s pea soup with a fork instead of a spoon.
This movie was a waste of the talent it had in it. Linda Hamilton came back for this bathtub fart, Schwarzenegger looked bored and Mackenzie Davis is capable of so much more than being a dry, boring, nearly lifeless half human/half machine. I think they totally forgot that she was half human and just told her to be a robot.
The film also shits on the legacy of the first two movies more than any other film in the franchise. It just straight up murders a young John Connor in the opening scene and if that doesn’t infuriate you, you’re not a fan.
That being said, if that had happened and was done to provide the viewer with something unique, compelling and with a real purpose, I could’ve lived with it. Instead, we got a soulless romp full of “girl power” nonsense that completely didn’t work because in the very end, the girls still needed the man to finish the job. I’m not trying to be a dick, here, but it’s hard not to be when the filmmakers do something so heavy handed yet so passé and just fuck it up in the end, anyway.
Linda Hamilton is one of the O.G. female badasses and it’s like the filmmakers forgot that shit and thought that they were giving us something knew and refreshing having female leads shoot guns and blow crap up.
As for the positives, I did like how Schwarzenegger’s Terminator character evolved and lived a normal life, developing human characteristics.
I also thought that some of the action was decent. Not great, but certainly passable by late 2010s standards. Unfortunately, those standards are grossly below the bar set by the first two movies in this franchise, three and four decades ago.
I also liked the villain Terminator and thought that he was a natural next step in killer robot evolution, unlike the robot from T3, which was overpowered beyond belief.
But that’s really about it for stuff I liked. I mean, it was neat seeing Hamilton and Schwarzenegger together again but unfortunately, that long overdue reunion was overshadowed by a movie without heart, soul or a point.
Rating: 5/10 Pairs well with: the other underwhelming Terminator sequels after T2.
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Talking Pulp 
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